JASON F. SMITH
Born from the ashes of failed relationship and lost purpose, Jason F. Smith clawed through the spiritual landscape, and finally found grace in embodied polarity depth practice. Known as The Magician, he offers one on one and couples (with his wife) marriage, relationship and intimacy counseling and coaching.
Additionally he offers Marriage Retreats on long term Polarity for couples and Men’s Retreats on Power and Purpose: Shades of Intimacy and Modern Day Warrior. In today’s world of current shifting masculine and feminine challenges for men and women this work becomes ever more relevant and necessary.
Teaching from ancient and modern discoveries and practices he illuminates the embodied experiential approach to painting the polarized intimacy of your life with a full pallet of colors for rich passion and purpose. He combines a visionary approach to deepening your intimacy and your life, with simple practices that that take you on a personal journey and open your most authentic expressions of love and purpose in the world.
He grew up in Southern California raising African Lions.
Not only has he raised African Lions... he raised three magical human children and a host of cats, dogs, and horses. His epic fantasy Cult of Yex series is available on Amazon. Samples of his media offerings can be found here: Media.
He can be found with like-minded people on the Facebook page: JasonSmith or email him at email@example.com. Go HERE if you want a free consultation with him to see if affordable, private, online coaching / counseling / therapy is right for you.
THINGS WERE NOT WORKING FOR ME.
AND WHEN IT ISN’T WORKING IT’S TIME TO CHANGE.
I’m not a doom and gloom guy. In fact, I’m pretty upbeat, positive, happy, and vibrate some serious love and excitement.
But… there was a day when it wasn’t like that.
I was overweight, out of shape, disconnected from God in a religion that didn’t work for me at all and which betrayed my deepest truths. My marriage was shredded, and my business held on by a thread. Any sexual connection I had in intimacy was white washed to a dull lifeless grey.
I was neutralized and sedated. Suppressed. Oppressed. I looked at the eyes of a stranger in the mirror.
That all might sound like marketing bullshit to you… I don’t know, but it was my actual reality. It was like being in a swamp. It was hot, sticky, and every step was hard. You know when you walk in mud, and it grips you so tight, you can pull you shoe off if you try hard enough?
That was really my life.
I knew I didn’t like it, but for the longest time I didn’t know what to do about it.
Instead of changing it, what I did was get really good at dealing with it. I had strategies that made it livable… and most of those were ways of sedating. Masturbation. Porn. Alcohol. TV. Too much time spent with friends. No exercise.
I became more estranged from myself, my wife, and my kids.
I really hated my life. I sometimes just sat in the middle of it and wanted to cry, or even die. I had this recurring dream that I would move at tremendous speed through the air and slam straight into a wall… and it would just go into sweet blackness.
But… then my wife died and I had my three kids to take care of. And leaving just wasn’t an option in the end for me. I dreamed it, A LOT. But… something kept me going.
And it wasn’t just my kids. I had this weird belief that something ‘more’ was possible. It was MY epiphany.
MORE IS POSSIBLE.
I didn’t know what the more WAS. I didn’t know if i could get it… but I knew it existed.
It’s like I could see a possibility, dim, vague at first, but it was definitely there.
I know that sounds simple, because I can’t describe what that MORE was… but it’s what kep me going.
And so… something lit in me. I’ve been called Intense. I’ve been called Relentless.
Whatever it was… it drove me to figure this out. In fact, I started to get a little manic about it. Like, this is happening or I’m going to die.
Have you ever felt that? That feeling that something has go to change?
The old ways, my parents ways, my culture, my religion… they weren’t working for me. That was probably my biggest challenge and hurdle. I kept wanting to go back to the OLD WAYS, and make them work BETTER.
I remember the day when I looked around at everyone in my church, and this realization came to me: This is working for them. It really is working for them.
But it’s not working for me!!
And for the longest time I thought: I just need to do it right, I just need to do it better, I just need to work harder… and then it will work for me too!
When I realized there was something MORE out there… the MORE I was talking about, I realized I couldn’t go back. I had to go forward.
I’m sitting in my church, with my three kids, and I’m in that same battle. “This isn’t working, I just need to do it better… The MORE is real… I just need to do this thing right to get it…”
When I have this epiphany from God: “You need to go forward.”
Okay, so what did I do? I listened. My chest beat wildly, I felt a sense of freedom and abandonment and guilt and shame, and I stood up, grabbed my kids… and walked out of the building.
That was the day I stopped looking back, and it broke my heart, but I left my religion and moved forward, trusting God that there he knew what he was doing leading me into the wilderness.
Into the night.
I told a friend that next day and he said this: “I’m so sad for you. You were this close. You just needed to endure the hell a little longer, and then it would have worked. Then you would have gotten what you wanted, the MORE. You just need to endure until you were safely dead.”
I’ll be honest, my whole body froze at his words. Had I fucked up? Had I made the big mistake, and quit right before I was to get my reward? Had I failed to endure to the end?
And a peace came over me, a calm… and it said; “No… you did the right thing. Let’s face it, religion isn’t the problem. Jason, you problem, and God is leading you into the night to find out who you really are.”
At this time I’m a total neurotic MESS. A HOT mess as they say.
But… I listened. I went into the wilderness, which meant I was alone for a while, and began a deep and long study, prayer, and practice of figuring out who I really was. I asked the hard questions. Who am I? Who am I as a father? Who am I as a child of God? Who am I in my body?
What are my dependent needs? What are my independent needs? What do I want to create with others? And what does God want for me?
And then I asked the hardest questions: Who am I without??? Without my wife? My children? My Job? My Religion? My God?
Who am I without all that? What’s at the core? Who is Jason really???
People been telling me that we as a society are breaking down, losing the fabric of what made us great.
I see it differently. It’s not going back that is going to help us. It’s moving forward.
We need to find out who we really are as individuals, separate from everyone and everything. We need to step into the wilderness, into the night, and ask the simple, but hard questions.
Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here?
For some, their parents, their culture, their religion’s answers are enough.
It wasn’t for me. I needed something new, and I’m here to help those who also need something new. So it’s time for a new way. A new paradigm. A new set of tools. We can’t solve our problems at the same level of thinking that created them, as Einstein told us. And that has turned out to be absolutely true.
We need new leadership. New vision, new tools and a new tribe. The homogenized ‘we are all alike’ template of human evolution is leading our society to become it’s own little petri dish version of the Lord of the Flies.
I found my God, my truth, like those of old, in the wilderness.
And if you are looking for it too. If you are infected with this idea that there has to be MORE out there, then I am here to tell you:
YOU ARE RIGHT.
There is more. And you’ll find it in your version of the wilderness.
I’m kind of like a guide.
I have been in the night, gone to the gates of hell, and brought back the light. I can’t walk for you or do the work for you… but I can walk along with you, and show you a thing or two that I’ve learned along the way.
Let me be clear about who I am. I’m just some guy whose life wasn’t working, and who got a revelation that something MORE was possible. Instead of suppressing and sedating that gift from God, I go hungry to find it.
I’ve accomplished some big things, and yet I’m still growing and trying to make myself work better. And part of that… is helping you find it too, and giving you the tools to get your life working the way you truly want it.
Here’s what I’ve found out: Deep down we all have authentic desires, and some of those desires scare the hell out of us. Like that powerful idea that was something MORE.
But I’m here to give you permission, and show you the way to accomplish and experience your desires in a way that doesn’t destroy yourself.
They tell us we should all be the same. I say forget that. Be an individual.
They also tell us our natural desires are an enemy to society. I say forget that, you can have what you want without destroying your marriage, your family, and your life.
I’m kind of like a guide. I lead people into the wilderness, into the night, and show them how to find their own light. That’s what I do.
And once they come back, carrying their light, I’m just a guy who can show you the ropes, how things work in this new place called MORE. One guy showing another person what it’s like on the other side.
So if you are interested in working with me, if this makes sense to you, then great, reach out. I found many many guides, teachers, and inspiring people along my path. You go into the wilderness alone, but you are never actually alone. The universe, God, never abandons you. There are always sign posts along the way.