This Is How I Work

I'm not going to give you my autobiography. What you need to know is what working with me can actually get you, and whether it's worth your money.

Most people who come to me want something. Sometimes they know exactly what it is.

More money.
A better marriage.
A stronger body.
Better sex.
A successful business.
A deeper sense of purpose.

Sometimes they can't name it at all. They just know: I don't want this anymore.

Something hurts.
Something is missing.
Something needs to change.

Either way, we start in the same place. I call it The Code: Tell the Fucking Truth. Before we talk about where you're going, we need to know where you actually are.

Let me warn you before we start. If you have an aversion to the truth, I won't work with you. If you're an Oscar-winning victim, I won't work with you either.

I'm not saying what happened to you wasn't real. Maybe it was brutal. Maybe it wasn't your fault. I'll honor all of it. But I won't help you build a life around it.

This isn't some macho bullshit stance. I've been the victim. It works in the short term. It gets you sympathy and gets you off the hook. It doesn't change your life, and changing your life is the only work I'm interested in.

We start by telling the truth. Not where you should be. Not where you wish you were. Not the story you've constructed about why things are the way they are. Where are you actually?

What's true about your body?
Your inner life?
Your relationships?
Your marriage?
Your sex life?
Your money?
Your business?
Your relationship with God?
Your relationship with yourself?

You cannot navigate accurately from an imaginary location. Truth gives you a bearing. Once you see where you actually are, you can begin to see where you want to go.

That's why I've created a simple assessment you can take right here. [Assessment link coming 9/25/2026]

No email required. No bullshit funnel where you answer questions for fifteen minutes and then I hold your results hostage until you give me your contact information. Take it. Tell yourself the truth. See your results. Keep them. Leave if you want.

And if you find this useful and want more from me, give me your email. I'll send you useful things.

Eventually I'll offer you ways to work with me. I'll be straight with you about that: I'm not cheap. I've always been a little weird about charging, because I hate being sold to. Then a client asked me why I was so reluctant to take his money. "I'd pay you anything to save my marriage," he said.

He was right. So I'm not going to apologize for the price. By the time we talk about it, you'll know exactly what you want from working with me, and whether I'm the one to help you get it.

Contrast Reveals Desire

Once we have the truth, something begins to happen. You see what you don't want. Good. That tells us something about what you do want.

Betrayal reveals loyalty.
Estrangement reveals connection.
Loss reveals security.
Chaos reveals peace.
Rejection reveals belonging.
Constraint reveals freedom.

Maybe the truth is simply: I'm fucking miserable. I want to feel better. That's enough. Contrast contains information, and now we have somewhere to go.

But this is where my work becomes different.

What Do You Actually Want?

Suppose you tell me: "I want $70 million."

Great. I'm not going to tell you money doesn't matter. But before we spend the next five years getting you $70 million, let's find out:

What the fuck do you think $70 million is going to give you?

Security?
Freedom?
Power?
Agency?
Adventure?
Recognition?
The ability to provide for your family?
The ability to create without asking anyone's permission?

Whatever is underneath that number is what we're actually going after. This is the cornerstone of my work. I call it Essence Work.

The Specific Is Your Best Guess

The specific thing you want is often your best current guess about how to produce the experience you actually want. Sometimes it's a very good guess.

So go make the money. Get stronger. Have incredible sex. Build the company. Repair the marriage. Buy the Porsche.

I'm not interested in teaching you not to want things. Want enormously. Specific desires give us direction. But don't confuse the delivery mechanism with the destination.

If what you actually want underneath $70 million is security, we've just dramatically expanded the field. Now we're going after security. Maybe enormous wealth is part of that. Maybe building a profitable business is part of it. Maybe owning your home is part of it. Maybe developing the absolute confidence that you can create money is part of it. Maybe relationships, capability, community and freedom from unnecessary obligations become part of it. Maybe something neither of us can see yet becomes part of it.

That's the point.

Discover what you actually want.
Learn to recognize it.
Learn to embody it.
Stop requiring one predetermined mechanism to deliver it.
Then take action from there.
And remain receptive to forms you couldn't previously see.

The Essence Is NOT a Consolation Prize

The Essence is what you really want. That's an important distinction.

Essence Work isn't what we do after you fail to get the thing you wanted so we can invent a spiritual reason why you should be happy anyway.

Fuck that.

We're after results. I want your actual life to change: your relationships, your business, your experience of money, your body, your sex life, your sense of purpose. Whatever brought you through the door. But I want to get underneath the first answer and find the result you're actually trying to produce.

I've done this in my own life.

I've done it through grief.
I've done it through betrayal.
I've done it through the loss of relationships I desperately wanted to keep.
I've done it with money, family, love, purpose and belonging.

And I've done it, over and over, with the people I've worked with. [See what that's looked like for other people → testimonials link]

This isn't a philosophy I read in a book. It's something I've lived.

Why I Think It Works

Now we're going to get a little metaphysical. You don't have to believe this part for Essence Work to be useful. But this is what I believe.

I believe consciousness is fundamental. Call it God. Source. Consciousness. Awareness. The Universe. Jesus. I believe there is something larger experiencing this life through us.

And I've played with a strange idea for years:

If infinite consciousness knows everything, if it contains every possibility and in some sense already knows every ending, then perhaps knowing everything has a peculiar limitation.

There are no surprises.

So consciousness narrows itself. Into me. Into you. Into billions of individual points of view that don't know what happens next.

Suddenly there is experience.

Discovery.
Love.
Fear.
Betrayal.
Sex.
Grief.
Creation.
Loss.
Wonder.
Surprise.

I don't believe incarnation is primarily a test. And I don't think we're here as some endless cosmic self-improvement project.

I think we're here to experience the fucking thing.

That's my cosmology. I can't prove it. I don't particularly need to. What matters in my work is what happens when I live from it.

Give God the Experience

This leads to one of the strangest and most useful practices in my life: give God the experience through you.

You're sad? Okay. Feel the fucking sadness. You're scared? Feel the fear. You're furious? Feel the anger. You're wildly happy? Don't immediately turn it into a lesson. Experience that too.

This isn't wallowing. And it isn't pretending every emotion is somehow spiritually wonderful. It's refusing to lie about what's here.

Interestingly, this is one of the places where my metaphysics and psychology sometimes meet. There is real work in psychology around acceptance, emotional avoidance, suppression, and our capacity to experience difficult emotions without adding another layer of struggle against them.

Science has its language. I have mine.

Mine is: Give God the experience.

And something I've noticed over and over is that when I actually allow the experience, it moves. Then I can hear what it has to tell me. Often what it tells me is: I want something.

And we're right back to Essence.

Release the Form. Get to Work.

Finding the Essence doesn't mean sitting around waiting for the Universe to deliver it. Action matters. Once we know where you actually are and what you actually want, we fucking move.

Have the conversation. Make the offer. Train. Build. Leave. Stay. Repair. Create. Risk. Practice. Ask. Do the thing.

For me personally, movement often comes first. I walk. I run. I get outside. Then I become quiet. I feel. I listen. I find what's actually here. Then I find the Essence. Then structure. Then movement again.

Your order may be completely different. Some people need to feel before they move. Some need structure before they can feel. Part of my job is helping you discover your order.

But eventually everybody has to move. Otherwise Essence Work is just another interesting conversation.

Surprise and Delight

Here's where this gets fun.

When you stop demanding that the Essence arrive through one specific mechanism, you create room for outcomes you couldn't have designed.

Let me tell you how I found this.

My oldest son and I are estranged. The betrayal was deep, and I won't go into it here. One day I stood at my whiteboard, wrote his name in the middle, and circled it. For reasons I still can't explain, I wrote three more things at the top: Essence. Surprise and delight. Better than expected.

Then I filled the board with what I actually wanted with my son. Loyalty. Joy. Laughter. Working together. Enjoying each other. Not walking on eggshells. Not walking on cut glass. Truthfully, I hadn't had most of it with him even before the betrayal.

That same day, my daughter came over to help me get our camper ready for a family trip. We'd always loved each other, but we'd never really gotten along. We worked all day. We laughed. She laughed at my jokes, for the first time in her life. After the work was done, we stayed up talking late into the night. I wasn't trying for any of it. I wasn't even paying attention.

When she left, I walked back into the house, turned the corner, and there was the whiteboard.

Every single thing I'd written. All of it. Better than I'd imagined.

None of it with my son.

That was five years ago. My relationship with my daughter is stunning to this day, and I have that essence with many people now. It still hasn't come with my son, and I accept that. I haven't always managed that kind of acceptance. Sometimes I still demand life give it to me my way. But this time I let it count.

That day wasn't a one-off. It keeps happening. Sometimes the Essence shows up through the path I expected. Often not. And sometimes I look around and think:

Son of a bitch. This is better.

That's what I call surprise and delight.

Maybe that's God. Maybe it's psychology. Maybe loosening my fixation simply allows me to notice possibilities that were there all along. Maybe it's some combination I don't understand. I don't know, and I'm comfortable not knowing. I know what happens when I practice it.

The Acceptance Gate

There's one last piece, and this one can be surprisingly difficult.

You have to let the result count.

Sometimes you get the Essence and reject it because it didn't arrive wearing the costume you specified. You wanted connection, but insisted it had to come from that person. You wanted security, but insisted it had to come from that pile of money. You wanted family, but had already decided exactly who had to provide it. You wanted love, but dictated the form love was allowed to take.

Then life gives you the thing you said you wanted through a door you never considered.

This is NOT consolation. This is not seeing the good in the bad. Often it's better than what you asked for. It just doesn't look the way you pictured it. You'd be surprised how often we demand the world give us what we want in the form we want it.

And you have a choice.

Will you recognize it?

That's the Acceptance Gate.

Not settling.
Not pretending.
Not lowering the standard.
Recognizing a better-than-expected result when it's standing right in front of you.

Sometimes you'll still decide: No. This isn't enough. I want more.

Beautiful. That contrast creates the next desire.

We go again.

This Is the Work

So why work with me?

Because there's something you want. Maybe you already know what it is. Maybe you only know that you don't want what you currently have. Either is enough.

This is something I know how to do. Not because I've mastered life. Not because I have every answer. Because I've practiced this when my own life hurt like hell, and I've watched it work. And I've helped other people do it too.

Tell the truth.
Experience fully.
Find the Essence.
Release the form.
Take action.
Recognize the result.
And leave enough unknown for surprise and delight.

So. What do you actually want?

Start with the truth. Take the assessment. It's free, and your results are yours. [Assessment link]

And if something on this page hit you, write to me. Tell me where you actually are and what you think you want. I read every one. If it makes sense to talk, we'll talk.

[Email / contact form - Coming 09-25-2026]

Here’s a quote from Josh, a man I’ve worked with:

In reflecting here at the airport about the event with you Jason: It was one of the most powerful weekends of my life. You and your team served me at the highest level and have changed my life and the life of my wife, daughter and son. You have exceeded all expectations. You embody the code. Thank you for everything you have given me...

-Josh

Read Reviews HERE

If you want to connect with me:

Here is another testimonial:

"The connection my husband and I have experienced as a result of working with Jason and Jennie is deep, profound and beautiful. We have found many keys that have unlocked much happiness and opened many channels of communication for us here. The real life aspect of this workshop has been very useful; Jason, Jennie and Suzanne teach powerful tools that create massive transformation and connection in relationship."

-Melanie Lake

In the marketing game it’s powerful to share testimonials. Here are three couple that might give you a sense of what I do.

Divorced and Need Help? Watch the short case study video of Susan Taylor’s story.

WATCH JAMES TELL YOU HIS STORY OF TAKING A GOOD MARRIAGE AND MAKING IT GREAT

Scheduled events include Heber Meditation Retreats, Shades of Intimacy (relationship intensive), Elemental Feminine (women’s event), Modern Day Warrior (men’s event) and Whisper (high end deluxe event where cutting edge science meets deep movement practice.)

We typically do Heber Meditation Retreats on Saturday’s, but if you want to schedule a private event during the week reach out for availability.

December 13th - Heber Meditation Retreat (Last event in 2025)

January 24th - Heber Meditation Retreat

February 7th - Heber Meditation Retreat

February 13-15 - Shades of Intimacy

March 21st - Heber Meditation Retreat

April 11th -Heber Meditation Retreat

May 9th - Heber Meditation Retreat

June 13th - Heber Meditation Retreat

June 19-21st - Modern Day Warrior 11

July 11th - Heber Meditation Retreat

July 30th - August 2nd - Tribal Camping Retreat

August 8th - Heber Meditation Retreat

September 12th - Heber Meditation Retreat

September 18th - 20th - Modern Day Warrior 12

October 10th - Heber Meditation Retreat

Closed for the Rest of 2026 - Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

I offer three different intensive workshop experiences.  

• For both Men and Women and Couples: Shades of Intimacy Marriage and Relationship Retreat and Boot Camp.

• For men: The Modern Day Warrior Men’s Retreat: Sharpening your Masculine Sword in a world that has dulled and disregarded and degraded it.

• For women: The Elemental Feminine, coached by my wife Jennie.

Each workshop retreat is a unique experience with it's own theme, discussions, exercises designed to give you a pattern interrupt from your old way of surviving into a whole new world of thriving possibilities through Polarity and Embodiment in all four pillars of your life: Body, Being, Balance, Business, and of course, the Bedroom.

• 3 Day Co-Ed Workshop Intensives.

• A designed crucible peak experience create to get your relationship radically back on track while giving you the long term tools and community support to keep in thriving well into the decades.

• Held in a private location in the Mountains of Utah.

• For more information and upcoming schedules click: HERE

• 3 Day Men's Only Workshop Men’s Reatreat.

• A crucible experience created to shake you loose of your old life and expand you into an infinite world of new possibilities, with skillsets, mindsets, tools and brotherhood offering long term affordable support.

• Held in a private location in the Mountains of Utah.

• For more information and upcoming schedules click: HERE.

• 3 Day Women's Only Workshop Retreat.

• A powerful experience created to shake you loose of your old life and expand you into an infinite world of new possibilities with the realms of polarity amidst a supportive tribe of power women who hold you long after the event is complete.

• Held in a private location in the Mountains of Utah.

• For more information and upcoming schedules click: HERE

Jason and Jennie also offer an array of other services for life coaching and sexual intimacy including:

• Affordable Private Online counseling sessions

• Private Life Evolution Personally Designed Programs

• Retreats

• Private Men's & Women's Groups

Go to our Marriage Counseling Page to connect HERE.

If you have any questions about services, click HERE.

There is little that is more painful than a relationship that was once beautiful... and is now falling apart. For those of you in that position, our heart goes out to you. We were there.  And yes, some situations are irreconcilable. But most relationships have hope.  

Conversely, there is also little more painful than being unable to find the partner of your dreams. We've been there too. And we can help you.

There IS a way to create long term passionate intimacy and there is a way to find a partner that will fully meet you. It's possible, and these are the results the Shades of Intimacy belief system creates in your life. Take a dive into the deep end with us, come discover the hidden treasures of the heart. Here there be dragons... passionate, powerful, authentic, mad genius dragons. Together let's breathe in the flame of these dragons and set our world on fire with creativity, passion, and magick.