WEEK 4 - SURRENDER
This course is about sustaining the power, depth, and connection you received at the workshop into your daily life. We are all searching for ways to receive and give love more deeply and profoundly. One of the key skills necessary for long term success in intimacy is surrender.
SUMMARY OF CONTENT AND ASSIGNMENTS
MONDAY - August 27th
- This Page you are on right now with it's Assignments (see below the summary), pinned at the top of the Secret FB Group.
- Jennie's FB LIVE - HERE - Routing your Energy to Your Shields
- Suzanne's FB LIVE - HERE - Are you able to keep that cord of connection even over distance with your mate? Methods of Surrender from the Feminine and Masculine Perspectives
TUESDAY - August 28th
- Suzanne's FB LIVE - HERE - Giving Permission to your mate to override your boundaries.
- Jennie's FB LIVE - HERE - Say Uncle
WEDNESDAY - August 29th
- Jennie FB LIVE - Power surrender
- Shahn Checked IN
- Suzanne Check IN - Week 4 - Submission or Surrender? - 8/29/18
THURSDAY - August 30th
FRIDAY - August 31st
- Brooke went LIVE
- Suzanne FB LIVE - What is sex about to you
- Jennie FB Live - Squeamish? Great. Surrender
SATURDAY - September 1st
- Jennie's FB LIVE - HERE - Surrender in spite of everything else
- Jason - SEX ASSIGNMENT! - AND UPDATE - HERE
ASSIGNMENTS
- 8 Second Breath (Yep, add this daily to your meditation practice, it will help not only the deepest connections in sex, but in everything you do).
- Add in the Breath Of Fire for a different Kundalini Experience
- Do the Math on Surrender, and share your discoveries with the group.
- Solo or Partnered Allowing The Earth to Support You practice (see below)
- Additional suggested Presence and Pleasure practices for the men and ladies separately to be done optionally.
- Watch and Practice Surrender in Sex to something BIGGER than yourself.
- Check in Sunday with where you are AT! - Be Real - Get Raw
DAY 22 - MONDAY AUGUST 27th
Story of Surrender
We were having sex one day. But she wasn't really into it. Her eyes were blank. I was frustrated. It felt like she was going through the motions. It made me want to quit, or finish quickly and move on to something else. She was closed, and I was closing off quickly.
Suddenly, she relaxed. I don't know why, I don't how. Whatever resistance was in her body slowly pealed away. Her eyes came into focus, tears welled in them. I could feel her again, she was surrendering open to love in the moment.
Her surrender drew me in, and drew me past my irritation, my frustration, and I too surrendered into the moment, to the ocean of love that we were in that moment, dissolving into something bigger than either of us.
DO THE MATH - ASSIGNMENT #1 - What does surrender mean to you?
Your first assignment is to meditate, pray, write, thinking on Surrender and what it means to you. We'll work on the definition all week long, so don't worry if you don't have a deep understanding at this point, just start to think and share on it.
Go live on video or type up your answer and share it with the group.
DO THE MATH - ASSIGNMENT #2 - SURRENDER TO SUPPORT
Lie on the floor for 10 minutes, flat on your back. you can do your 8 second inhale and 8 second exhale as you do this (yes, you should still be doing that!).
Allow every last piece of your body to be supported by the earth. Notice if there are little levels of resistance and tension.
BONUS ASSIGNMENT: A second practice could follow where you lie for 10 min and your partner sits at your side and intuit's how they need to be touched to surrender further.
Feel how much you can relax and surrender without added effort.
Defining Surrender
Surrender as a word is often thought of as giving up. It has some war connotations, but that's not how we are using it here.
Let's do the math on this and figure it out. If we have a person, say you, who wants you to do something, we'll call that A. But someone else, something else, wants you to do B.
What you want, and what something else wants.
EXAMPLE
You are a parent, sleeping blissfully at 2:00 AM and your 1 month old baby girl wakes up in the other room and starts crying to be changed. Whew. What do you do? You want to sleep, right? A: SLEEP. But the baby... B: WANTS TO BE CHANGED.
So Surrender always involves a CHOICE POINT. A or B
FOUR STAGE MODEL
Remember the four stages model? Well it is useful here.
1st Stage Infant Dependent Selfishness: That's the part of you that wants to tell your kid to go fuck itself and you go back to sleep while it cries.
2nd Stage Independent: Pretty similar result. You want want you want. You might tell the kid to take care of it's own needs, but that's not going to work and amounts to the same thing here as the 1st stage.
3rd Stage Interdependence: You can't go bargain with the kid to take of itself, but you COULD bargain with your spouse... asking THEM to go change the baby in exchange you'll change the child next time.
4th Stage Integrated: Well, you surrender and get up and take care of the baby. It's selfless, you just do it.
GRACEFULLY OR NOT
Which leads us to an interesting disposition. You can either surrender gracefully or not. That's all all there is to it. Grace would be peace a smile, long suffering, open heart... not would be whining and complaining.
THE QUESTION
The question becomes who or what should we surrender to? Obviously, all surrender is not created equal. You don't want to surrender to terrorists, but you probably do want to surrender to God's love in your life.
Is there anything we can do to help guide us? Turns out, there is. Once again, the four stages provide the answer, along with some context.
First Stage: First stage wants are usually survival, lizard brain desires. Remember context: If your partner is hurting you in an abuse situation, surrendering to the desire to leave is a smart idea. If you want to abuse your partner out of frustration or anger, you wouldn't want to surrender to that desire.
Second Stage: Independent needs... take care of yourself. This is usually a status in the tribe mammal brain desire. Sometimes that's good, sometimes it's not. Context will always influence.
Third Stage: Desire to help and work with others, a pre frontal neo cortex I as an individual desire. Again, context is key, sometimes this is a good idea, sometimes not.
Four Stage: Being lived by love in an artistic way...
Fourth Stage Surrender
In the fourth stage, surrender takes on a very different meaning, particularly in sex. It is still a choice point, but the thing you are surrendering to is LOVE, God, Goddess, the UNIVERSE.
Surrender in this context is understood as letting go of your resistance to the total open reality of who you truly are.
Your bodily tensions of lizard brain, mammal brain, prefrontal cortext wants... bundle you up into a whirlpool dustcloud dust bunny of COMPPLAINT. Surrender, let go, of the you who you believe yourself to be, to open to the deeper reality of all that is: LOVE.
You can be a little cup of water, or you can be the whole fucking ocean, but in order to be the ocean, you have to surrender and pour yourself back into the ocean and be absorbed by love's grand gesture.
There are no boundaries here, in the mind, the body, the emotions, the spirit. Wide open, open, open, into infinite oneness, forgetting your own name in the vast majesty of galactic tidal planets.
No limits. Love... love, love... without limits.
Surrender opens your own core defenses... and is vulnerable, but strong, because it lets your authentic self AS love merge with the world. The piece you always held back becomes you strongest communion, light, dark, fierce, soft.
- Authentic
- Unhidden
- Undefended
What does it look like?
Get a massage. Relax your muscles. Breath slower, softer, fuller. Open your body, let go of it's tensions and whorls and curlicues, and love willingly. Choose love, surrender to love.
It doesn't avoid hurt or pain, it just remains open in all dispositions.
MAN - MASCULINE PRACTICE IDEAS
These are solo practice ideas, you can do them or not.
Your practice, starting today, is to develop more PRESENCE. Be HERE. NOW, and using your heart, FEEL HER.
This will turn your woman on. Be WITH her. Don't be distracted. And feel her and even THROUGH HER, into the universe. If you are having sex, don't be hurrying to get off, have your orgasm, roll over, and go to sleep.
Surrender into being with her fully. Your lizard brain might want to come, your independent brain might want to just masturbate and go to sleep, your pre frontal cortext might want to get her off for a quick orgasm then get yours and go to sleep.
But in this moment you can ask yourself, is there more love to surrender to, to give? To receive?
She can't surrender fully if you are present fully.
Show up with breath... deep, calm, soft, and slow, musles relaxed, front surface of your body open, a devotion in your heart to ever fiber of her, not just her wet pussy and soft tits, but the whole of her, from the bile and piss and shit in her intestines to the chaos that might be in your mind or emotions. Be present with it all in diving love, surrendering in service to love's great gesture.
As mentioned above, you can do this GRACEFULLY, soften with a deep breath, or not... the choice is yours.
PRACTICES
These are solo practice ideas, you can do them or not.
Do one or all of the following this week:
- Practice presence alone while doing your 8 second inhale exhale meditation, feeling into your body, and out into the world around you.
- Do Conscious Devotional Push-ups. Every hour, do 10 pushups while consciously feeling out to your partner, devoting your love and exercise to every fiber of her being fully.
- Do the 20 Minutes Modern Day Warrior Workout, which guides you through presence, power, while alternating back and forth between mediation and movement. (Up loaded to drop box).
- In your morning meditation, feel into one thing the 'universe' wants you to do that you do not want to do. Write it down. Feel and note the distinction: I want to do X, but the Voice wants me to do Y. These don't have to be big things. You can also practice feeling what others want you to do, or what your lizard brain wants you to do. Just list sides of the argument, you don't need to do anything about it.
There is no good, no bad. Just keep practicing.
Women: You can do these practices as well, to start to open that side of yourself that is in touch with the conscious awareness and presence in the world. You might not feel at home here, but there is often something to be learned from experiencing the other side...
WOMAN - FEMININE PLEASURE PRACTICE
You want his presence? He wants your energetic openness.
What does this look like?
Your sexual responsiveness.
Cries, screams, moans, writhes, and enjoy the hell out of your orgasms. Go porn star on him, but do it from your heart.
For many men, you are the source of his feminine energy, the life force energy, you are his chosen partner, and feed his soul and his purpose.
Practice being in pleasure and displeasure around him. You've spent long years nullifying your displeasure which numbed your pleasure. Now it's time to open that can of worms and start practicing your pleasure again as we discussed last week.
He truly wants and even needs to bathe in the ocean of your uninhibited typhoon of pleasure.
Faking it does not count.
Your body needs to shine with full and true pleasure if you want your man to give you his full presence.
The more you show your pleasure through your body, the more he will come to presence. The more he comes to prescense, the more you can surrender to pleasure and drench him in your radiance.
Heaving, quivering, weeping, opening to overwhelm him and make him stand up in presence.
You are MAKING LOVE, creating it, opening to it, surrendering to it. Lure him into surrender of presence by overwhelming him with you surrender to pleasure. Take him into your heart through your pussy.
You may have to practice by yourself, breathing, masturbating in openness daily, dancing to music you love, finding your pleasures and surrendering open to them and then offering them as gifts to your man. Speak your pleasure with sound... with touch... with tears..., with gasps... with moans... with tastes...
Deepen your breath, open the front surface of your body, soften your eyes and heart.
Great men will RISE AS A KING to meet you with his presence.
PRACTICES
These are solo practice ideas, you can do them or not.
Do one or all of the following this week:
- Get a massage and practice your breathing, feeling your pleasure with acute openness.
- Take a long bath, at least 30 minutes, luxuriating in relaxed deep breathing open pleasure
- Dance alone to music sensually, ecstatically, or manically.
- Masturbate yogically merging with what is, for 20 minutes, with no need for orgasm, just feel the pleasure of your body.
MEN: You can do these practices as well, to start to open that side of yourself that is in touch with the appearing fullness of light and pleasure and the world. You might not feel at home here, but there is often something to be learned from experiencing the other side...
Back and Forth
It goes back and forth... he gets more present, she gives more pleasure. One will be ahead of the other, then the other will be ahead. Back and forth it goes, in an infinite opening and surrendering to being lived as love's light through the two bodied form of consciousness and light.
Just keep practicing.
Love can be practiced.
Learning to have sex as an expression of your deepest being is like learning to play guitar, basketball, or the tai chi. You have good days and bad days. Sometimes lovemaking is perfection itself, with genitals, heart, and mind all aligned. Other times sex is scattered, anxious, or filled with conflict. Even so, there is no such thing at failure; every moment is a learning, every closer an opportunity to learn how to open in love.
DAY 24 - WEDNESDAY August 29th
CHECK IN & ASSIGNMENT
YOUR WERE TO CHECK IN ON FACEBOOK LIVE AND LET US KNOW WHERE YOU ARE AT AND ASK ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE
DAY 26 - FRIDAY August 31st
Watch through the videos, read the above, and bring these practices to a sexual occassion with your partner some time this weekend. On Sunday, check in on how it went and ask any questions you may have.
DAY 28 - September 2, SUNDAY
CHECK IN
YOUR ASSIGNMENT
You are to go live on the Facebook Group and report your results for the week. If you are behind, still report. Take as much time as you like, and ask as many questions as you like.