It's not always easy, but in our sexual intimacy it's almost always necessary to be honest, explicit, and vulnerable... especially with yourself. This is where people tighten up the most. A great practice, a way to start being Honest, Explicit, and Vulnerable is to write in a journal or diary every day. Keep it private. But in that writing, strive for brutal open eyed honestly. Avoid melodrama... just use your pen (or typewriter like a knife and cut into who you really are). The results will open you dramatically and deepen any possibility you have an authentic relationship.