Once in a while, I think it’s important to do the math.
Figure out what something actually means—look up definitions, check it against my assumptions, and see for myself what it really is.
For the past five days, I’ve been thinking about the word, the concept, the idea of commitment.
It’s a fairly common term, and you’d think I’d know it inside and out. But… have I done the math on it? That’s the itch in my brain lately, and when I get an itch like this, I end up scratching it.
So first of all—what do I think commitment is, without looking it up?
A commitment is a promise to do something.
That came right off the top of my head. No editing. First thought.
So why commit? Why not just do it?
The first thing that comes to me is that it’s a social construct. It builds trust.
Mean what you say. Say what you mean.
So let’s sit with that for a second. (That means I’m going to go quiet, meditate on it, and feel what it might mean.)
Desire.
That’s what came up first. There is a desire to do something. I felt that desire in my heart.
Clarity.
That came up next. What do you want to do? What are you committed to? What is your desire?
I see this man—me—with a desire in his heart. It feels “out there,” forward. In this meditation, the desire isn’t sharp or specific yet; it’s just a deep sense of wanting.
And there’s an allowance. That surprised me, but I feel a sense of letting myself move toward my desire. Allowing myself forward. Acceptance might even be a better word.
Okay, so there’s me: a clear heart, a desire, and an allowance toward it.
What’s next?
It won’t be easy.
There will be obstacles—not necessarily someone against me, but natural opposition. Life is a challenge.
And there will be times when my clarity, desire, and even allowance will fade. They will dim. I won’t, in that moment, want to do it anymore.
So… commitment is what?
A remembering of the core clarity and desire. A return to connection with it. Feeling it again.
Remember—you wanted this. You felt it. It was true for you, and it still is.
Yes. Commitment is an energy of remembrance in a turbulent moment when things get unclear.
That might require faith—a trust in yourself, in your vision, despite all evidence to the contrary… except that evidence in your heart.
Commitment is therefore deeply personal.
I see people make public declarations, hoping that saying it out loud will help them follow through. That doesn’t work—unless you feel it.
If you remember the clear desire, if you know you still want it despite the turbulence, it can move you forward. But you have to participate with it.
It’s a living thing—this commitment. This desire. This allowance.
Okay, now let’s throw a wrench in the gears. What’s the actual dictionary definition?
Commitment (noun):
The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.
An engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.
The first definition is clear in our context—we’re dedicated to something, to our desire, to moving forward and allowing it to grow and persist.
The second is interesting. I hadn’t thought of it, but for some, commitment feels like a restriction.
In our masculine definition here, it doesn’t restrict freedom—it focuses your attention. That’s a powerful shift.
So how do we apply this in the real world?
I’ll be thinking about that for the rest of the day, and I’ll post again with real-world examples from my life. Then we’ll see if what I’ve come up with has personal, practical value.