Polarity taught me the physics.
Purpose showed me the depth.
And then I made the classic mistake:
I thought Stage 4 was all light.
All softness, love, surrender, compassion.
You know — save-the-spider, practice-yoga, whisper-to-the-trees energy.
Then one night, there was a sound downstairs.
Jennie and I sat bolt upright.
A real sound. Not imagined.
The house was full of sleeping kids.
I’d trained for that moment — but never truly expected it.
I turned to Jennie and said,
“You call 911. I love you. I’ll take care of this.”
I grabbed the baseball bat I keep beside the bed and went downstairs — quiet, slow, ready.
Someone was in the house.
But they heard me coming and ran.
I chased them out into the dark until they vanished into the night.
When I walked back in, Jennie threw herself into my arms.
A few months later, we were in line at a movie theater.
Two guys were harassing a young woman nearby.
I looked at Jennie and said,
“Stay here.”
I walked over and stood directly in front of them — close enough to feel their breath.
I didn’t yell.
Didn’t posture.
Didn’t play tough.
I just stood there.
Still.
Present.
Unmoving.
They cracked jokes to save face, then backed up…
and kept backing up…
until they were literally off the curb, stumbling into the street, fleeing into the night.
The young woman thanked me.
Jennie later whispered,
“That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen you do.”
Here’s what I learned:
My pursuit of light alone left me incomplete.
Deeper than “love and light” is access to power.
To darkness.
To the hunter who tracks and kills prey to feed his family.
To the warrior who protects his children.
To the man capable of violence — in service of love.
This isn’t aggression.
It’s not dominance.
It’s not control.
It’s channeling dark energy through the heart.
David Deida gave me the key:
“What energy do you think Jesus had when he cleared the temple?”
That was dark warrior energy — righteous, fierce, protective.
And Mary holding the Christ child?
That was pure light — radiant, soft, unwavering.
Both are sacred.
Both are necessary.
The teaching isn’t light OR dark.
It’s light AND dark — through the heart.
That’s partnership.
Not just partnership with another person —
but partnership within yourself.
The partnership between your light nature and your dark nature.
Your softness and your ferocity.
Your capacity to nurture and your capacity to protect.
When you learn to run both energies through the heart, you become whole.
You’re not performing goodness.
You’re not suppressing your edge.
You’re not afraid of your own power.
You are integrated.
Polarity taught me the masculine and feminine.
Purpose taught me the four stages of depth.
Partnership taught me the whole spectrum — without apology.
And this is what we practice at the Heber Meditation Retreat on Saturday, December 13th.
You’ll learn to:
• Recognize the difference between toxic aggression and sacred warrior energy
• Feel dark energy (protection, power, boundaries) move safely through your heart
• Integrate your capacity for both softness and fierceness
• Stand fully in your edge — without losing your center
Saturday, December 13 — Heber City, Utah
A full day of embodied integration and partnership.
The light alone isn’t enough.
You need the whole spectrum.
—Jason