PERFORMANCE — The Fourth Pillar
My friend Danny and I used to play chess all the time.
I could beat him—if I brought my absolute A-game.
Total masculine focus. Warrior intensity. Ignoring everything else.
If I did that… I won.
Then he moved away.
Years later, he came back to visit.
“Let’s play chess,” he said. “I joined a chess club.”
Cool, I thought.
Time to rally. Time to bring everything I’ve got.
I focused harder than ever.
I played my sharpest, cleanest game.
And he destroyed me.
If we played 100 games, he’d win 100 times.
What happened?
He’d been practicing.
Not just trying harder.
Not just “bringing his A-game.”
Actually training. Studying. Drilling. Getting better.
And no amount of masculine focus could overcome that gap.
That’s when I learned something that changed how I approach everything:
You never get it done.
Polarity? You can always deepen it.
Purpose? There’s always a next stage waiting for you.
Partnership? You can always integrate more of your light and your dark.
There is no finish line.
No moment where you “arrive.”
No mythical day when you’re finally allowed to coast.
David Deida put it perfectly:
“Stop hoping for a completion in anything in life.”
As a musician practices scales—over and over and over—
so you practice the pillars.
And somewhere in the middle of all that practice…
you make art.
But here’s the paradox:
The point of the journey is not to arrive.
You practice so you can dissolve.
You train so you can let go.
You sharpen your skill so you can forget about it and simply be.
Practice. Dissolve.
Practice. Dissolve.
Practice. Dissolve.
That’s what the Heber Meditation Retreat is.
Saturday, December 13th isn’t about “learning polarity”
or “understanding the four stages.”
It’s about practicing them in your body until they become second nature.
At Heber, you’ll practice:
• Polarity — masculine presence and feminine radiance as physics
• Purpose — sensing which stage you’re in and where to go next
• Partnership — running both light and dark energy through your heart
• Performance — practicing it all… then dissolving into flow
One day of practice.
One day of depth.
Then you take it home and keep practicing.
Because you never get it done.
And that is the gift.
Saturday, December 13 — Heber City, Utah
A full day of embodied practice.
You don’t need perfection.
You need practice.
—Jason