The Father, the Friend, and the Facilitator
Sometimes men’s work doesn’t look like drums and mountains.
Sometimes it’s just four men at a kitchen table, sharing what’s real.
A few months ago a new man joined our circle—strong energy, formal, trained under a teacher.
And without realizing it, I shifted.
I made the evening more structured, more ceremonial.
Nothing wrong with that—but later I saw it: I’d bent the night to please someone instead of trusting what already worked.
Old pattern.
The part of me that still wants to make the “father figure” proud.
The good news?
I caught it with the help of one of my brothers.
No shame. Just awareness.
This is the real men’s work—seeing the subtle ways we abandon ourselves, then returning home with curiosity instead of judgment.
Every circle of men faces the same question:
Are we brothers, or are we students?
When it becomes both, we find something rare—structure without hierarchy, freedom without chaos, friendship that forges men instead of fragments them.
I don’t need to find a teacher anymore.
I am one—because I keep showing up, sitting down, and learning in public.
“The mature man doesn’t need a Father to lead him—he becomes the friend who holds the fire.”