Journal Entry July 8th, 2026 - 4:00AM
"Be ye therefore like unto a child."
I think Jesus said something like that.
Today I found myself remembering what it feels like to want again.
Not wanting from fear.
Not wanting because something is missing.
Not wanting because I'm trying to prove I'm enough.
Just... wanting.
The way a child wants.
Curious.
Excited.
Wonder-filled.
What would it be like to make a lot of money?
What would it be like to have an extraordinary relationship, with intimacy off the charts?
What would it be like to live sovereign and free?
What would it be like to drive a car that makes you smile every time you get behind the wheel?
What would it be like to travel the world?
What would it be like to feel love more often than fear?
What would it be like to experience life as one great expanding adventure?
As I sat with those questions this morning, I noticed something.
Many of my desires had been quietly poisoned by scarcity.
I wasn't simply wanting good things.
I was wanting them because I was afraid of not having them.
That felt like such an important distinction.
So I stayed with it.
I breathed.
I included the fear instead of fighting it.
And as the fear softened, something underneath it began to emerge.
A child.
The part of me that doesn't dream because it feels empty.
The part that dreams because dreaming is joyful.
And yes... almost immediately I noticed resistance arise too.
That'll be another journal entry for another day.
Today wasn't about fixing the resistance.
Today was about rediscovering my joyous wanter.
And I have to say...
I'm wanting some pretty cool shit.