Burning Man (T-1 Day)

Well… we leave tomorrow.

And I pause to ask myself a question: What am I doing? Why am I going?

“Go to Burning Man,” they say.
“They are YOUR people,” they say.

So yes—there’s curiosity. What’s this really all about?
And yes—there’s faith. People I love and trust keep telling me: Jason, this is for YOU.

But like in all things in life… at some point, past the curiosity and faith, there is just YOU.
YOU and YOU.

Why am I going?
Because I’m curious?
Because I trust my friends?

Maybe. But here’s the truth: Burning Man weeds out the ones who are just curious, or just leaning on faith. Why? Because it takes so much effort to prepare, and then—once you’re there—you live in the desert. (Sam Kinison in the 80s nailed that one—anyone catch the reference?)

A week in the desert. A city built by hand. Together. Alone. Both at once.

Why am I going?
I may not know until I get back.
“Ohhh… that’s why I went.”

But I do know this: something is calling me. These principles. This radical self-reliance. This chance to step outside of “The Man”—outside the chokehold of government, religion, culture.

In my life, I’ve always navigated the tension between the vision of Eden—the Garden where things are different—and the world we live in.

Am I the only one? I feel Eden is real. I feel the Garden in my soul. I remember—deep down—that things are supposed to be better. That they can be better.

That knowing is both painful and beautiful. It makes me love what we have here, while also aching with the truth that… there is a better place for all of us.

Will I find a glimpse of that place in the desert? Out on the Playa?
That’s what I seek—in those quiet moments, at sunrise or sunset—where Heaven meets Earth and I remember: HOME.

The sacred fire is lit.
—Jason

P.S. Another thing that keeps making me smile is how much polarity I see here. This is everything I express about Masculine Presence, Direction, and Focus—structure. And out on the Playa, the Feminine fills that structure with Sensation, Energy, and Radiance.

And when they come together? That’s LIFE. That’s when HOME comes home. That’s when magic walks in this world.

Oh… right. That’s what I do for people. I bring HOME… back HOME.

P.P.S. We leave tomorrow morning. Expect spotty posts from me until we return.

#BurningMan #BurningMan2025 #RadicalSelfReliance #RadicalInclusion #LeaveNoTrace #SacredRebel #ModernDayWarrior #MasculineAndFeminine #PlayaLife #SacredFire

BURNING MAN (T-2 Days)

Good morning, friends! Time for the next five principles of Burning Man. (If you missed the first five, I shared them yesterday.)

Communal Effort – This one makes me smile, especially paired with Radical Self-Reliance (yesterday’s post). These two are the backbone of real community. In my four stages of maturity model, we move from Dependence → Independence → Interdependence → Integration. Communal Effort is that third stage—interdependence. But here’s the truth: Communal Effort only works if the individuals are strong and independent first. Otherwise, it collapses.

Civic Responsibility – Before I even read this principle, my first thought was: Put your shopping cart away! They frame it more around respect for laws and regulations. Interesting tension here: Burning Man feels like a giant “F-U” to government control… yet tucked inside is this principle of obeying the rules. Maybe the deeper meaning is responsibility for each other (Rule Five of Modern Day Warrior: Take care of your brother). And maybe it’s the old line: Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s. Worth sitting with.

Leave No Trace – Environmental stewardship at its highest. One month after Burning Man, you can stand in the Playa and find… nothing. No trace a human city even existed. That’s powerful. And the deeper principle is not just “do no harm” but “leave it better than you found it.” That one hits me hard.

Participation – Don’t sit on the sidelines. Get in. Embody. Play. Engage. The principle is simple: life is not a spectator sport.

Immediacy – Be here now. Embodied presence. Open yourself to experience.

I’ll be honest, the last two feel a little tacked on, like someone wanted to make the list a clean ten. But the spirit is right: if you come to Burning Man, don’t just watch—participate and immerse. That’s the invitation.

When I get back, I’ll revisit these principles and share how they actually lived through me—because surely, the experience will change how I see them.

For now: it’s Wednesday. Final prep day. Bikes lined up, last-minute packages arriving, gear reorganized. Details, details, details. The little touches that matter.

🔥 The Sacred Fire is burning.
Let’s go!

—Jason

#BurningMan #BurningMan2025 #RadicalSelfReliance #LeaveNoTrace #SacredRebel #ModernDayWarrior #MensWork #RadicalInclusion #Participation #Immediacy

Burning Man T-3

Getting excited. Crossing the T’s and dotting the I’s.
Lots of work.
Lot of fun.

Burning Man runs on 10 principles. At first they felt a bit like “rules,” which I didn’t like. But then I leaned in and caught the spirit of them. Here are a few that stand out to me:

Radical Inclusion – At EDC Vegas there’s a giant billboard I love: ALL ARE WELCOME HERE. That sentiment is powerful. And yes, it’s not always true in reality—but the essence of it is. It’s about dropping judgment, welcoming those who are radically different, and letting them be. Honestly, I think I already live most of my life under this principle.

Gifting – Give freely. Expect nothing back. Such a beautiful idea. Secret gifts might be the best gifts of all.

Decommodification – No commercial crap. Every ad we see in daily life chips at our soul: Buy this! Consume that! For 10 days in the desert, we step outside of that endless noise. But the real challenge is this: can we carry that spirit back into the “real” world?

Radical Self-Reliance – What happens when a community of fiercely self-reliant people come together—free of manipulation, dependence, and consumer chains—to build something? We’ll find out.

Radical Self-Expression – Sing, dance, paint, strip down, or wrap yourself in cellophane. Burning Man (like raves) is one of those rare spaces where people actually drop the masks and just be. The wild thing is… we call that radical.

Just a few reflections tonight. Tomorrow, I’ll share the next five.

Burning Man (T-4 Days)

Wait… shouldn’t this be T–9?

Well, life comes at you fast—and if you want to dance with it, you’ve got to stay on your toes.

Plans have changed.
We’re leaving early.
This Friday morning, Jennie and I hit the road for early entry to Burning Man with our friends. We’ll be helping set up their art installation—and our camp.

And you know what?
This change feels so damn good.

Instead of showing up late next Wednesday—halfway through the experience—we’ll be there for the start. For the build. For the beginning of the fire.

So what did we do this weekend?

We connected.
Dinner with Jennie’s folks. A deep heart-to-heart with her dad.
And then… Sunday hit.

Preparation Mode.
When Jennie and I lock in together like this, we’re a force. We got a ton done. There’s more to go (and I’ll share some of that later), but we crushed so much yesterday, we can actually breathe.

That’s the Sacred Masculine:
Holding presence in the midst of unpredictability.
Adapting quickly without losing center.
Guiding the flow without needing control.

Plans changed—and it was beautiful.
Surprise.
Delight.
Alignment.

That sacred fire is warming up.

Burning Man: 4 Days Away
Let’s fucking go.

— Jason

BURNING MAN (T-12 Days)

What are my intentions?

As we prep for the big event, I’m reminded of a line from one of my favorite lyricists (and yes, from my favorite band — led by my favorite drummer):

From the point of conception to the moment of truth
At the point of surrender to the burden of proof
From the point of ignition to the final drive
The point of a journey is not to arrive

This PREPARATION is part of the journey — just as much as the arrival.
Burning Man will come and go. In a few weeks, it’ll just be a memory.

I love epiphanies, revelations, bolts from the blue, and peak experiences. But here’s the truth: if you ignore the lead-up, you compromise the peak.

That’s a secret worth taking to the bank.

Masculine structure — focus, direction, presence — in the preparation is what makes the big events feel big. That’s the truth of polarity.

So here’s one of my intentions: to enjoy the preparation itself.
Full disclosure? I don’t always do that. My rebellion often shows up as totally unnecessary anxiety, anger, and frustration.

Part of me believes the event wouldn’t be as good without that storm in the lead-up. But… that’s a lie.

My real aim: ease, flow, meditation, joy.

And on the Playa?
I’ve noticed something in all the Burning Man videos I’ve been watching: everyone wants to tell me what to expect, how it’ll change me, what it means.

I don’t want their map.

I’ll take technical help from friends who know the ropes — deeply grateful for that — but the experience? That’s mine to discover.

Jennie says this about our meditations: never tell people what they’re going to experience. Just create safety and let them have their own.

Same with our porch. After a meditation, I often take people out there, sit them down, and let them drink in the view. I don’t add commentary. The view knows its job.

My job? Stay out of the way.

That’s my intention for Burning Man: stay out of the way and let it do what it does.

The sacred flame is getting warmer.

— Jason

BURNING MAN (T-13 Days)

Get ready for overwhelm…

Below (after my signature), I’ll post the most basic Burning Man prep list. And yes… it’s intimidating.

But that’s okay — for a number of reasons.

Have you ever considered why Burning Man is so powerful for people? I’ve never been… but I can guess one reason it changes lives:

It’s difficult.
It’s a challenge.
It’s HARD.

Some beautiful things in life arrive easily. The air you’re breathing right now — easy, free, beautiful.

But other beautiful things? They take effort.

We are manifesting something in an incarnated world.

This is duality. The viscosity of the substrate is thick — and it’s supposed to be that way (even if we wish it weren’t).

We bought in. We chose YES. We hit the Send It button.

So would I expect anything less?

The list is huge. The work is anxiety-inducing. But we know how to deal with that. And even though I sometimes wish it were otherwise, I know we are on target, aligned with the essence of our deepest desires.

Ease, magic, and flow are coming. They might already be here if I just accept it. (And hey — I do have two beautiful friends who’ve been to Burning Man dozens of times and are walking us through step by step. That already sounds like ease.)

Meanwhile, there will be challenges. The goal? Stay as calm as possible with them… even if “calm” is more like grinning through the chaos and getting to work handling my shit.

It always works out.

But I still like to pretend it won’t and run the drama loop.

Maybe one day I’ll sit back, put my feet up, and let all the love and magic in without resistance. That would be nice.

Until then… I have work to do.

Let’s stoke that sacred fire.

— Jason

P.S. For the curious, here’s the infamous prep list. Scroll at your own risk.

🔥 Burning Man Prep List

Shelter & Camp Setup
• Sturdy tent (dust-proof, wind-resistant)
• Canopy / shade structure (EZ-Up, tarp)
• Extra-long stakes, rebar, or lag bolts
• Ground tarp or RV mat
• Duct tape, zip ties, ratchet straps
• Rope or tie-down straps
• Firewood with tarp
• Burn barrel (6 inches off the ground)
• Industrial garbage bags + ties
• Fairy lights / LED camp lighting
• Binder clips (the unsung heroes)
Sleeping Gear
• Sleeping bag (20°F rated) + warm blankets
• Sleeping pad or air mattress
• Extra sleeping pad (optional)
• Pillow
Water & Hydration
• 1.5–2 gallons per person/day
• 2 jugs filtered water
• Extra cleaning water (2–3 carboys)
• Reusable bottles + coffee mugs
• CamelBak or hydration pack
• Frozen water bottles for cooler/drinking
• Vinegar foot soak bin
Food & Cooking
• Non-perishable food (canned, bars, dried fruit, rice, beans)
• Pre-cooked / frozen meals
• Cooler with dry ice
• Camp stove + fuel
• Cooking utensils, pot, pan
• Reusable cups, plates, cutlery
• Biodegradable soap
• Green smoothie supplies
Clothing & Protection
• Costumes (bring the wild)
• Warm layers for nights
• Breathable layers for days
• Extra underwear & socks
• Hat for sun
• Sunglasses
• Sunscreen & lip balm
• Dust mask or bandana
• Goggles (clear & tinted)
• Rain gear & footwear
• Sturdy boots
• Earplugs
Hygiene & Health
• Washcloth & soap
• Towel
• Hand sanitizer
• Toilet paper
• First aid kit
• 5-gallon bucket + liners (emergency toilet)
• Baby wipes
• Personal medications
Bike & Transportation
• Bike (serviced)
• Lights (front & rear)
• Lock
• Repair kit & pump
• Extra tubes
• Decorations (EL wire, glow sticks)
• Waterproof bags for electronics
Tools & Miscellaneous
• Phone straps
• Spare car keys
• Offering for the Temple
• MOOP bags (attach to belt/bike)
• Flashlights & headlamps
• Dry ice setup for cooler

Burning Man (T-14 Days)

There’s a place where the dust strips you bare,
where the sun burns off your masks,
and the night swallows you whole.
They call it Burning Man.

And in two weeks, Jennie and I are finally going.

We’ve talked about it.
Dreamed about it.
But never committed.

We’ve done other epic things — EDC, Bass Canyon, our campout, and plenty of big events.
We’ve run programs like Shades of Intimacy, Modern Day Warrior, and Elemental Feminine.

But never the Burning Man.
The dusty one. The sacred, burning one.

It’s always been there… out on the horizon.
An intention. Waiting to manifest.

And, as usual, it manifested in a surprising and delightful way.
Friends of ours — the kind who’ve been telling us to go for years — made the invitation again.
We’ve always been busy. Or had a conflict.

Not this year.

This year, the tickets are there.
The path is laid.
And our friends — facilitators of epic journeys themselves — are guiding us every step of the way.
(As a facilitator myself, I so appreciate having them hold the container for once.)

We got the red carpet treatment.
And we said YES.

Kind of last minute… but in two weeks, we roll out to the playa.

There’s a lot to prepare. Plenty to get anxious about.
But we’ve got tools:
Two friends who’ve been dozens of times…
And our own tools — Masculine Structure. Focus. Direction. Presence.

We know how to do this.
(Translation: I have no idea!)

But we’ve got this.

Connecting to yesterday: we are committed.
The desire is real. It’s authentic. It’s clear.
We are aligned.
We’re allowing it.
And now… we’re committed.

Focus. Direction. Presence.
Those create commitment. And commitment fuels motivation.
It won’t be easy, but I can already feel the alignment — and I know it will be worth it.
This is what we’re supposed to do.

And talk about lighting a sacred fire…

Let’s go.

— Jason

P.S. After our Bass Canyon Campout, one of my “leafs” for growth was to prepare for my next event in a more relaxed way instead of in anxiety mode.
Well… here’s my chance to practice that leaf.
So, over the next two weeks, I’ll share the preparation process with you — the good, the bad, the ugly… and the relaxed.

Make and Keep Promises

Once in a while, I think it’s important to do the math.
Figure out what something actually means—look up definitions, check it against my assumptions, and see for myself what it really is.

For the past five days, I’ve been thinking about the word, the concept, the idea of commitment.
It’s a fairly common term, and you’d think I’d know it inside and out. But… have I done the math on it? That’s the itch in my brain lately, and when I get an itch like this, I end up scratching it.

So first of all—what do I think commitment is, without looking it up?
A commitment is a promise to do something.
That came right off the top of my head. No editing. First thought.

So why commit? Why not just do it?
The first thing that comes to me is that it’s a social construct. It builds trust.
Mean what you say. Say what you mean.

So let’s sit with that for a second. (That means I’m going to go quiet, meditate on it, and feel what it might mean.)

Desire.
That’s what came up first. There is a desire to do something. I felt that desire in my heart.

Clarity.
That came up next. What do you want to do? What are you committed to? What is your desire?

I see this man—me—with a desire in his heart. It feels “out there,” forward. In this meditation, the desire isn’t sharp or specific yet; it’s just a deep sense of wanting.

And there’s an allowance. That surprised me, but I feel a sense of letting myself move toward my desire. Allowing myself forward. Acceptance might even be a better word.

Okay, so there’s me: a clear heart, a desire, and an allowance toward it.

What’s next?
It won’t be easy.

There will be obstacles—not necessarily someone against me, but natural opposition. Life is a challenge.

And there will be times when my clarity, desire, and even allowance will fade. They will dim. I won’t, in that moment, want to do it anymore.

So… commitment is what?

A remembering of the core clarity and desire. A return to connection with it. Feeling it again.
Remember—you wanted this. You felt it. It was true for you, and it still is.

Yes. Commitment is an energy of remembrance in a turbulent moment when things get unclear.

That might require faith—a trust in yourself, in your vision, despite all evidence to the contrary… except that evidence in your heart.

Commitment is therefore deeply personal.

I see people make public declarations, hoping that saying it out loud will help them follow through. That doesn’t work—unless you feel it.

If you remember the clear desire, if you know you still want it despite the turbulence, it can move you forward. But you have to participate with it.

It’s a living thing—this commitment. This desire. This allowance.

Okay, now let’s throw a wrench in the gears. What’s the actual dictionary definition?

Commitment (noun):

1. The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.

2. An engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action.

The first definition is clear in our context—we’re dedicated to something, to our desire, to moving forward and allowing it to grow and persist.

The second is interesting. I hadn’t thought of it, but for some, commitment feels like a restriction.
In our masculine definition here, it doesn’t restrict freedom—it focuses your attention. That’s a powerful shift.

So how do we apply this in the real world?

I’ll be thinking about that for the rest of the day, and I’ll post again with real-world examples from my life. Then we’ll see if what I’ve come up with has personal, practical value.

Bald Faced Hornets

The Nest on My Wall

Yesterday I found something living in the side of my house.

Not a family of birds. Not a gentle hive of honeybees.
A massive, black-and-white fortress of Bald-Faced Hornets. Thanks Chat for identifying them with the dangerous photo I took!

One of those “Nope, not today” discoveries.
The kind where your body tenses, your mind says call someone else, and your primal instincts say deal with it.

I could have passed the buck. Paid a guy.
But there’s a masculine edge in life that calls you forward—not out of recklessness, but out of responsibility.

Okay, maybe a LITTLE recklessness.

I have a family here. My Queen. My kids. My home.
And part of my job is to be the one who stands between them and whatever threat is at the gate…
Even if that threat has wings, venom, and a bad temper.

My heart was pounding, but my hands were steady.
And I took care of the nest. Safely.

Sometimes protection isn’t glamorous.
It’s not a sword fight or a heroic speech.
It’s making the decision to handle the thing no one else wants to touch, because that’s what’s needed.

That’s the masculine edge.


Not bravado. Not macho posturing.
Just gritty willingness to stand guard. And an intense need to protect my home.

Harry Porter

This… is Porter.
Or as my wife calls him in a proper English accent: Harry Porter.

A few years ago, I had the pleasure of leading him through a meditation. Afterwards, we became friends. Now, every so often, he brings his son Koa up for the weekend, and we hang out around the house—usually with a stack of board games nearby.

Yesterday was a full one.
Jennie and Porter built these epic cat bridges while Riley and I gathered ingredients for today’s Hatch Green Chile Verde.

In between all that, we played a game of Forest Shuffle—which I won, of course.

After hamburgers (and some stiff, dry, not-so-great cheese), we settled in for an intense late-night match of Dune Imperium: Uprising.

Near the end, my son Riley summed it up perfectly:

“I don’t like this game. It’s my favorite game… but I don’t like it.”

I get it. It’s not a fun game—it’s a test. You have to bring your full mind online just to survive, much less win.

By midnight, Riley was done. “I just want this game to end,” he groaned.

That’s when I gave him some fatherly wisdom:

“Shut up and keep playing. This is when it counts—when you’re tired, when it’s tough, when you want to quit. That’s when you push through.”

He took it to heart, buckled down… and beat me by a single point.
I never like losing—but watching my son refuse to quit? That’s a win in my book.

Meanwhile, Porter—only his second game—was ready for round three. The man’s coming along fast. One day, he might even be a threat.

That was my Saturday: my wife, two good men, a house full of projects, and an intense, focused game to end the night.
A perfect day.

Today? More projects. More games. A past life regression. And that famous Hatch Green Chile Verde.

Does it get better than that?

Stoking the sacred fire,
Let’s go.

—Jason

SATURDAY MORNING FACEBOOK ADS

SATURDAY MORNING

A Look Behind the Curtain.

I’m working on the ad copy for the Modern Day Warrior Intensive, happening Sept 19–21.

Thought I’d share a bit of the process—mostly for myself.

Looking back, my first experience of “masculinity” was from my dad.

He was detail-oriented. VERY focused.

But he had no direction.

No presence.

No heart.

A robot of discipline.

I didn’t trust him.

The next version came from my mom.

She had more direction than my father. More presence. She was sharp and focused—and she ran most of it through her heart.

(You might ask, “Where was the feminine in your life?” Good question. But one for another time.)

Then came what I discovered in school that I call the Jock Mentality Masculine—

That loud, bullying, performative energy.

I judged men in that space harshly… and was wrong more than once.

As I got older, I started forming my own sense of masculinity.
It was intelligent. Structured. Sharp.

But it lacked true focus. True direction. Real presence.

I didn’t even know what those words meant.

I just knew I didn’t have them.

I surrounded myself with clever, witty, creative men—men of high character, IQ and fast tongues.

But it still didn’t land in my body.

One thing I always had, though, was reverence for the feminine.

Even when I was young—I loved women. Treated them with awe. Later, with reverence.

But I was still confused.

I had zero role models.

In my early twenties, I joined the Mormon church. That helped, a little.

I liked the men I met there.

But I wasn’t impressed by them, not in the masculine sense.

I was still searching.

For something I couldn’t name.

Something I somehow knew existed.

Then I picked up a book:

The Way of the Superior Man
Subtitle: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women, Work, and Sexual Desire.

Well—

I had plenty of challenges with women, work, and sexual desire.

So I was all ears.

And that book? It fucking rocked me.

First—

It described masculinity in a way that made actual sense.
The witness. The stillness. The presence.

The three elements I now teach:
Focus. Direction. Presence.

Second—
It revealed that both masculine and feminine grow through three stages of maturity.

Third—
It explained how masculinity has a light and a dark side.
But neither are “bad.”

The question is: Are you running it through your heart?

At that point, I realized:

I had been doing masculinity wrong.

I had been doing life wrong.

Everything I had learned—from my parents, from culture, even from church—was off.

This wasn’t just a Masculine teaching.

It was also my first real understanding of the Feminine.

And it wasn’t just psychological.

It was spiritual.

The Masculine is the Witness.

The Feminine is the Light.

The entire cosmos, expressed as polarity.

Right there in your relationship.
Right there in your bedroom.
Right there in you.

That realization rewrote my life.

It washed away the versions of masculinity and femininity I inherited.

It felt like truth.

Of course, reading David Deida’s books helped.

But what changed me?

Was sitting on the studio floor in Ojai, California with him and doing the actual work—

Learning how to embody the Masculine.

Not theory. Not lectures. Not notebooks.

Embodiment.

That’s what changed everything.

And that’s what I now teach.

Fifteen years later, it’s the same.

The Masculine is the witness.
The Feminine is the light.

We move through stages of maturity, and through light and dark expressions.

And when you run it through your heart, and you incarnate it in your body—

Everything changes.

This work is ancient.

Older than David. Older than me.

It’s lasted because it’s true.

And so, ten years ago, I started training men in the art of Masculine Awareness.

I’ve led dozens and dozens of events.

And every time, I get nourished by giving my gifts to men—training, teaching, guiding, and leading.

It’s good work. Necessary work.

But how do you fit that into a Facebook ad?

How do you distill that sacred, cellular truth into a few lines of copy?

How do you find the men who are like I was—

Men who know the current model of masculinity doesn’t work.
Who feel the pain of that truth every day. But don't even know there is a deeper more sacred masculine underneath, one that is both true and powerfully effective.

How do you reach them?

Here’s what I know:

If you’re reading this, and you feel something stir—
if you’re tired of fitting yourself into boxes
or pretending you’re “fine” when you’re not—
if you know there’s a different way…
then maybe, just maybe—this is your knock.

And the door?

It’s opening.

Jason

PS- I got a call from someone yesterday telling me that my scrapbook of my life posts lately have been deeply inspirational to her. That made me happy. Instead of marketing, I'm just sharing about my life. Just be me.

Mark

This man here. His name is Mark MacInerny. Triathlete.

We go way back. (wink)

We’ve been through a few things together, and are both on our own roads through life, but about once a month we connect for a phone call.

Little how you doing, what’s up with the family and all that.
A little what’s going on with YOU
A little… is there any way I can serve you? Help you?
A little challenge… an exploration of ideas and expansion.

Pushing the boundaries of Body, Being, Balance and Business.

I had one such call with Mark this morning, and left feeling like I do every time. ON FIRE.

READY TO GO.

And I don’t take that for granted.

Most men drift through life surrounded by acquaintances.
Find the ones who set you on fire.
Keep them close.
Lose the rest.

Burn

Friday Morning.

My Queen is working from home today.
Which means I’ll be distracted, annoyed, and weirdly inspired all at once. 😆

But I woke up thinking about fire.

Last night I sat in on a call with a man I used to train with—Garrett J. White.

He read aloud from a new “Scroll” he wrote.

It was raw.
Christian.
And very familiar.

The whole message?

Kill the False King.

The protective identity you built as a boy to survive the pain.

The one that now rules your kingdom…

But leaves you numb.

Alone.

And full of rage.

“If it burns… it was never real.”

That hit me.

Because I’ve had a few false kings.

The Nice Guy.
The Smart Guy.
The Tough Guy.
The Sexually Enlightened Guy.

Burned them all.
(Well… I’m still toasting the last one now and then.)

And what’s left?

The man I always was.

And I like him.

He’s real.
He’s fiery.
He’s free.

So here’s your Friday reminder, my scrapbooking friends:

🔥 Don’t fear the fire.
🔥 Fear the life you’re building without it.

#SacredRebel
#FalseKingBurn
#MasculineFire
#FridayFlame
#KillTheLie
#LongLiveTheKing
#JasonFSmith
#ModernDayWarrior
#ShadesOfIntimacy
#BurnToBecome

Our marriage flatlined.

Not because of cheating. Not because of constant fights.
Because the intimacy—the real, electric, sacred connection—was gone.

Two years in… and it felt like we were roommates.

Jennie and I had started strong. Magic. Fireworks. All of it.
But somewhere along the way… it just died.

No spark. No sex. No connection.
Just daily life. Co-parenting. Co-existing.
And under it all… heartbreak.

I told her, “This isn’t working. We need to fix it—or we’re done.”
She agreed.

I dove in. Bought 17 books on intimacy.
Read them to her on road trips.
Tried every technique and conversation hack I could find.

None of it worked.

Eventually I thought: She needs therapy.
But deep down, I knew better.

A friend told me: “Stop reading David Deida. Go see him.”
So we did.

We flew to Ojai for a 3-day intensive.
$6,000. Flights. Hotel. Rental car. No hesitation.
We were either going to reclaim what we had—or walk away.

David looked at us and said:

“You don’t need therapy. You need polarity.”

He told us:

“If just one of you gets this, the relationship will end.
But if both of you do… it will become everything you’re longing for.”

He was right.
That weekend changed everything.

We found each other again.
Not just emotionally. But sexually. Spiritually. Deeply.

And it lasted.

That experience laid the foundation for what would eventually become:

Shades of Intimacy.
We’ve been teaching this work since 2015.

And next week, August 15–17, we’re holding our next 3-day Intensive.

This is for couples and individuals who are DONE tolerating numbness.
Who know something sacred is missing—and are ready to get it back.
Who feel the nudge in their gut that says: “This is your moment.”

If that’s you, message us.
We’ll help you take the next step.

And if not, but you read this far…
Just know this:

When you draw the line and say “no more” to mediocrity…
The way forward will be revealed.

That’s the power of this work.
That’s the power of you.

Harry Potter

Just finished rewatching the entire Harry Potter series with Jennie.

Still magical. Still powerful.
And yeah… apparently still controversial?

In a time when nuance is outlawed and mobs try to dictate what you’re allowed to enjoy, I’ve chosen a different path.

I choose to celebrate stories that shape the soul.
I honor authors who actually finish what they start—with courage, conviction, and clarity.
And I refuse to join the noise of public shaming, witch-hunts, and ideological purity tests masquerading as virtue.

Do I agree with every word J.K. Rowling has ever said?
Of course not. She’s a human being, not a deity.
But here’s the thing—disagreement isn’t hate.
And thinking for yourself doesn’t make you a villain.

This is where we are now:
If you say “I enjoyed Harry Potter,”
Someone will try to make that a statement of oppression.

Nope. Not playing that game.

The books meant something to me. The movies meant something to me.
They shaped a generation. They shaped my kids.
And watching them again with my wife this week reminded me why I fell in love with storytelling in the first place.

So yeah… I’ll keep the conversation sacred—not savage.
And I’ll keep choosing magic, in a world that keeps trying to cancel it.

SAYING NO

Drawing a Line

Years ago, Jennie and I hit a wall in our relationship.

Actually, it was more like an avalanche. A collapsed bridge.
We kept trying.
Kept bashing our heads against the wall like a broken Roomba.

Then one day, in the middle of the pain, I crossed a line.

Nope. Not doing this anymore.

I had asked my mother for advice. She said,

“This is just the way it is. Your relationship is broken. It’ll never get better. Eventually, you’ll just accept that.”

And something in me just said NO.
Nope. Not accepting that.

I trusted myself.
Two things were absolutely true:

1. Something is NOT right here.

2. And... MORE is possible.

I went to Jennie and said, solemnly:

“Something isn’t working. We need to fix it. Or else.”

And she said:

“Yes. We need to fix this.”

That moment changed everything.
We crossed a line.
No plan. No perfect roadmap. But a decision.

We just said no. Not anymore.

We had no idea what to do next—but we were DONE tolerating.
And that was enough. That was the catalyst.

And now?
When people talk to me about Shades of Intimacy—and they’re worried about the cost, or their schedule, or what the weekend might be like...

From where I stand? That’s all noise.

What matters is this:
Are you clear your relationship must change?

If the answer is YES, then nothing else matters.
That clarity?
That’s the line in the sand.

Every time in my life I’ve drawn that line—said NO MORE—
That’s when it all began to change.

Sacred fire is burning in your NO.
Let’s go.

—Jason

Calibration

✨ CALIBRATION: Becoming a Match for What You Asked For

“You’ve got to be ready for what you put into the Vortex (what you asked for) before what you put into the Vortex can manifest in your experience.”
—Abraham Hicks

This weekend I got paid $3,800 to guide five incredible humans through the Heber Meditation Retreat. That’s not just money—that’s value. That’s alignment. That’s joy, connection, contribution, and deep fulfillment.

It didn’t come from a grind.

Yes, there was work. We busted our asses getting the space ready.

But the actual experience?

Magical. Smooth. Potent. Profound.

That’s how abundance showed up.

And I liked how it came.

That tells me something simple: I’ve begun to vibrationally align with what I’ve been asking for.
________________________________________
We’ve all been asking.
Me. Jennie. Melanie. Aubree. Eli.
We’ve put a LOT into the Vortex.
At some level, we’ve asked for:
• Tribe
• Family
• Real connection
• Open-hearted growth
• Depth
• Magic
• Abundance

Not just in theory. In actual vibrational essence.

And this weekend, it showed up.

I watched Jade and Amethyst drop everything to come sit on the porch with Aubree and Eli. I watched Megan’s intensity and laughter as she played games around the family kitchen table with Aubree and Eli. I felt the sacred click of people who just fit. People who have the flavor of our Tribe—deep, kind, real, spiritual, a little wild. You know what I’m talking about.

This isn’t an accident.

This is conscious co-creation.

1. We asked.
2. The Universe assembled it in the Vortex.
3. We became a vibrational match to it.
4. It manifested.

Melanie manifested us.
We manifested her.
And we’re all still doing it.
________________________________________

But here’s where it gets wild:
“You can’t keep asking for it from a place of knowing what you don’t want.”

Contrast is what fires up desire.

It’s the sour that makes you crave sweet.

You don’t just walk into a candy store and casually try some things. That’s weak desire.

But if you’ve gone without sweets for a long time, and life has been bitter… then that candy hits different.

The desire has texture.

It has urgency.

Contrast lights the fuse.

But after the fuse is lit…?

You’ve got to shift your vibration to match the thing you asked for.

That’s the work.
That’s the calibration.
________________________________________

So yeah—this weekend was Surprise and Delight.

It was Better Than Expected.

Which means we’ve become a match for Surprise and Delight.

And the next level?

Deliberate creation.

Getting specific. Participating.
Becoming co-architects of what shows up.
That’s where we are now.
We’ve been asking for fun.
We’ve been asking for satisfaction.
And it’s showing up.
So what’s next?

🔥 Clarity
🔥 Participation
🔥 Gratitude
🔥 Calibration

We’re not just experiencing magic.

We’re learning to tune ourselves to the frequency of what we asked for.

On purpose.

This fire has been lit.

Let’s f***ing go.

—Jason

The summer isn't over yet...

The summer isn’t over yet…

But our break from Heber Meditation Retreats ends now.
And I’m so damn excited to be back in the studio.

Five powerful souls arrived last night from around the world—completing their journey to the Shaman.
They come for Clarity. Healing. Adventure. Connection.

And honestly? I always marvel at how many people say they want to grow... but never show up.

They tell me:

• I’m lost.

• I know what I want, but not how to get there.

• I’m stuck.

• I’m hurting.

• I’m ready for the next step.

• It’s time.

But only some actually do the thing.
Only some invest the time, the money, the trust, the courage.
Only some say:

“Yes. I’ll go to the mountains of Heber. I’ll sit in the studio with Jason, Jennie, and Melanie. I’ll close my eyes, let go of the noise, and enter the emptiness only true meditation can offer.”

And in that empty space—when it all dissolves—you find it.
Yourself.
Your real self.
The one that always knows what to do next.

This isn’t about advice.
Or answers.
It’s about tuning into the one place that never lies: your inner being.

That’s what brought them here.

And I have to tell you… this is it.
This is what I love the most.

Last week I told you stories from the Bass Canyon Campout—a tribal experience born from the fire of this very work.
And now, I get to do it again.
Today.
With five humans who said, “I’m ready.”

This isn’t just what I do.
It’s how I serve.
And it calls me to deeper excellence every time I step into the circle.

People say I’ve changed them.
I haven’t.
I’ve just helped them remember who they are.
That’s it.

But simple doesn’t mean easy.
This work is a discipline. A devotion. A craft.
Like the best concert violinist in the world—it’s decades of practice channeled into a single moment that makes people weep.

That’s how I see this path.
And I just wanted to share it with you.

Today… I get to sit in sacred space with five brave souls.
And that humbles me.

It fills me with gratitude that runs deep in my bones.

Because watching people grow?
Still the most exciting thing in the world.

Okay—I’m off to work.

—Jason

P.S. Pictured here is a glimpse of the altar Jennie builds for every meditation. That candle? It will burn for the entire session today.
Remember that post I wrote about masculine focus?
It all starts by staring into the flame.

Every Rose Has It's Thorn... and Leaf

Every Rose Has Its Thorn… and Leaf

I’m wrapping up this scrapbook week of Bass Canyon Campout posts with how it all ended.

And it ended—like all sacred journeys should—in a circle.

Sunday afternoon, the final crew gathered. About a quarter of the tribe had already packed up and peeled off. But the rest of us were still lingering, taking our time, slowly breaking down camp while soaking up the last bit of soulshine.

Trucks pulled away. Goodbyes were said.

But those of us who remained circled up for one of the most powerful practices I’ve ever known.

Rose. Thorn. Leaf.

One by one, we went around and shared:

Our Rose—the high point, the most beautiful moment.

Our Thorn—the hardest part, the struggle.

Our Leaf—what we’ll take forward and grow with.

The real magic wasn’t just in the sharing.

It was in the listening.

You get to hear what truly lit people up. Some of it surprised me. Deep, unexpected joy.

Then came the thorns—people naming their challenges, their emotional edges. Again… I had no idea some were carrying those things.

And finally—the leaf. The direction they’re going now. What they’re taking from the weekend to live more open. More deep. More whole.

I’ve done this practice for over a decade in my work. But that Sunday circle hit different. Something about that campout. That fire. Those people.

Maybe it was the fatigue. Maybe it was the rawness.

But the vulnerability was next-level.

And it bound us together in a way that felt more like family than I’ve ever felt.

My Rose?

There were many. But one of the biggest was Wednesday night. Sitting by the fire at 2AM. Peaceful.

I had built something… and they were coming.

I could feel it.

That rare, sacred moment of satiety. You did it. It’s working. It’s real.

My Thorn?

Losing my temper after a horrible performance in my last game of cornhole. It triggered an old story. Still work to do there.

My Leaf?

To enter these events with more grace.

Less stress in the lead-up.

More joy throughout.

And now—one week later (Today is Friday, exactly a week from Sacred Theater Night)—I’m holding one more Rose:

Gratitude.

Who gets to do these things?

As I hear from people this week, I can feel it in them. The tribe is okay. We’re tired, yes. Emotional tides rolled through some of us. But we’re landing.

We’re integrating.

We’re taking the peak moments of our lives—and using them to live deeper, more open, more true to the wild light of our hearts.

Yeah… gratitude.

Through and through.

A sacred fire has been lit in me.

—Jason

Sacred Theater

Last Friday, July 25th, at 8:30PM, our Tribe gathered for one of our most powerful traditions:

Sacred Theater.

After some playful warm-ups, each of us stepped into the circle to offer a 2-minute sacred performance of our choosing.

It’s mandatory.

It’s vulnerable.

And it’s one of the safest, most joyful spaces you’ll ever stand in.

This year, I went first—to lead the way.

Recently, I got some tough but loving feedback from a men’s group I’m in:

“You apologize too much.”

At the root of that habit was a deep fear that my love, my fire, my gifts… might hurt people. Might drive them away.

It mirrored a lesson I was given five years ago from a Shaman:

Stop apologizing for love.

So I knew my Sacred Theater had to center on this very edge—the place I most need to grow.

But I didn’t know how to express it.

So I did what I do.

I took a walk. With the wise, wild, wonderful Jennie.

She asked me one question that cracked it wide open:

“How do you think people feel… when you apologize for loving them?”

Boom.

That was it.

So I stood in the circle. I explained my intention.

Then I turned to each person and said:

“I’m sorry for loving you.”

And each person responded—just a sentence or two—describing how it felt.

And what I learned?

It hurt them.

My emotional system thought I was protecting people by dimming my light, by softening the edges of my love.

But that withdrawal? That hiding?

It was hurting people. Over and over again.

What a revelation.

What a sacred moment of growth, held by a Tribe that doesn’t flinch, doesn’t shame, doesn’t run.

This… is why we do Sacred Theater.

To stand raw and real.

To grow in front of each other.

To shine. Even trembling.

Where are you still apologizing for being you?

Let’s light the sacred fire today.

Let’s go.

—Jason