Death

A couple considerations for facing your own death:

Don't fear death...
If it comes, embrace it.
As if you are lying down
next to a beautiful woman

-Ragnar Lothbrok

And now a quote from the movie (love it or hate it): American Beauty.

Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined our street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.


How Will I Live My Life?

How Will I Live My Life?

If this turns out to be my last day on this planet... what will I do and how will I do it?

I taught a class on Memento Mori (Remember We Must Die) recently in Santa Monica for the Masculine Master series of workshops hosted by Metaphysical Fitness. This class I offered was born out of my own practice. In order to live a rich, full life, so the theory goes, one must embrace one’s impending death.  Anything less is to live in fear… and hence to clog your ability to life a rich, full, life.

I’ve discovered this ‘teaching’ to be fully true. 

And so I daily enter the portal of death willingly to see what this life has to offer… and I come back to this question:

If this turns out to be my last day on this planet… what will I do and how will I do it?

Og Mandino, in his seminal book The Greatest Salesman in the World makes this proactive affirmation: I Will Live This Day As If It Is My Last.

But how do you do that?

If this was my last day I would want to say goodbye to my children, my woman, my friends. I would enjoy a few moments of beauty, refresh my mind on good memories, and tie off any loose ends I might have to the best of my ability. I would break my heart open and let the sadness and the appreciation overwhelm me fully and just sink into a beautiful goodbye.

But what do I do the next day? Presuming I don’t actually die… how do I live the next day as if it’s my last?

Most of us would probably quit work and come home to our family, yes?

Nobody on their deathbed has ever said "I wish I had spent more time at the office".

-- Rabbi Harold Kushner

So how do you translate this into a daily practice?

First of all, it requires an immediate reorganization of what you are doing with your life. Consider this: If this was you last day, would you still be at your job?  If you answer no… then you are in the wrong job.

Are your loose ends tied off?  Have you filled your life with beauty, appreciation, and service? Have you given your gifts fully?  Have you offered love to everyone?

I had a friend growing up whose family had a rule: You never leave the house without saying I Love You to everyone. Never leave in anger. You never know what might happen out there…

You might die.

Which brings me back to this sentence: If this turns out to be my last day on this planet… what will I do and how will I do it?

The first part is to reorganize your life so that what you are doing each day is full: full of service, full of receiving, fully of gratitude, full of depth. Such reorganization however is often, (at least it was for me) a massive undertaking.

So what do you do, daily, as you are restructuring your life?

The answer, I’ve discovered, is in the word ‘how’.  How will I do it?

If this is my last day… how will I type these words? How will I breathe? How will I walk? How will I speak? How will I eat?

From this perspective, while dismantling my old life and rebuilding my new life from scratch… I discovered that life took on a totally different texture.  My movement slowed, my smile deepened, my heart opened.  By asking HOW I will live this life… I added depth to even the seemingly mundane pieces. 

When I first heard of the idea of living this fully, it felt very esoteric, and unreachable. But I can report to you that after sustaining a practice of fullness the results have been profound and beautiful. There is a permeating sense of gratitude, contentment, and flow. 

Try it.  See what it does for you.  Report back.  I would love to hear your experiences.

Masculine Mastery Refelections

Just came back from co-facilitating the Masculine Mastery Workshop in California with a few fellow warriors (Justin Patrick Pierce, Christopher Sunyata, William Espinosa-Setchko, and John Wineland).  What a profound experience when a group of powerful men show up to improve their lives together, witnessing a rebirth of their masculine power and focus.  I am deeply humbled by the experience.

Looking forward to the next one.

Meanwhile… October 16, 17, and 18 heralds the arrival of the Modern Day Warrior Workshop… check it out for some warrior adventure.


What would you write?

I was contemplating the vast concept of self creation... If someone were to tell you to write your life down as a novel... from this point FORWARD... what would you write?  Would you put in some difficult situations just to be fair, or would you inherit the universe and make yourself God?  If you wrote it... what would you write for your future?

Write your life and those around you... starting from today... all the way to your death (if you choose to die).  Be specific... consider this like 'wishing' to a Genie.  He might take your words one way when you meant another....

And when you are done... (if you actually did the exercise), consider this desire:

Grow up.  Drop your Fears.  Merge Seamlessly with the Universe.

And from that point... co-creatively write your life as it comes.  You lose your keys?  Magically find them.  You get sick? Magically heal.  Have a friend who is struggling?  Magically help them.

Surrendering to what is... while co-creatively changing the universe using the magic of consciousness.  Which is it?

Sometimes I think about life and I think it feels like we are all

rats in a maze

slaves in a cage

gerbils on a wheel...

and I wonder what would happen if we said NO.  I'm not playing that game.  Period.  And we were all willing to die rather than accept slavery.

Humans are programmed to adapt and survive... even the harshest and cruelest events.  

But what about our day to day life?  The common day to day gerbil wheel grind?  Are we lulled into some type of sleep?

If we could write it differently... what would we write?

The 60s Revolution

60s

Ah… the 60s! 

What is the most important innovation of the 20th Century?

Air Travel?

Alan Turing’s Computer?

The Atomic Bomb?

None of those.

No, the biggest innovation of the 20th Century is this:  Sex has to be good for BOTH partners.

And what resulted from that epic revelation in the 60s?

Free Love.

But the 60s brought something more important than Woodstock…

What REALLY happened…. Was that women started to embrace their masculine energy.

Remember our reference to Mad Men?  Who epitomizes the new woman on that show? Peggy Olson.

She is single and assertive and brilliant at her job with the ad agency. She represents the epic change that was occurring in our society.

Women realized they could KISS ASS.  Not just in the home, but out in the business world.  They could have careers, run businesses, even… perhaps… become President of the United States of America.

And meanwhile… Men figured out they had FEELINGS!

This was a GREAT step!

Men began to understand their feminine energy side, which led them out into the woods smoking pot and dancing and making music:

 We are certainly more balanced.  Women can animate masculine energy with the best of them… and men can be authentic with their feelings and nurturing with the children.

But…

Where does that leave us in our intimacy?

Is there a next step to take?

Past the 50s… rigid roles…

Past the 60s… wimpy men and ballbusting women?

Is there something beyond?

For a MUCH DEEPER exploration of the idea of Stage 2 Ritual Growth Click HERE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Animate

A powerful song about Masculine Feminine dynamics... 


Lyrics by Neil Peart

Polarize me
Sensitize me
Criticize me
Civilize me
Compensate me
Animate me
Complicate me
Elevate me

Goddess in my garden
Sister in my soul
Angel in my armor
Actress in my role

Daughter of a demon lover
Empress of the hidden face
Priestess of the pagan mother
Ancient queen of inner space

Spirit in my psyche
Double in my role
Alter in my image
Struggle for control

Mistress of the dark unconscious
Mermaid of the lunar sea
Daughter of the great enchantress
Sister to the boy inside of me

My counterpart, my foolish heart
A man must learn to rule his tender part
A warming trend, a gentle friend
A man must build a fortress to defend
A secret face, a touch of grace
A man must learn to give a little space
A peaceful state, a submissive trait
A man must learn to gently dominate

Polarize me
Sensitize me
Criticize me
Civilize me
Compensate me
Animate me
Complicate me
Elevate me

Seriously...

My wife once said to me: Seriously... stop taking yourself so seriously.  

The way I see it though... you need to take some things seriously...

Ah... that's the rub, yes?

SOME THINGS

What do we take seriously and what do we not?  

I'm surrounded by energies right how of people taking themselves too seriously. People afraid to offend. People afraid to laugh and relax. People too tight in the bud... They stink of fear. Everything is all structure, like we entered a military academy.

I take life very seriously... except when I don't. Here is a quote I love from Tom Robbins:

“I believe in everything; nothing is sacred. I believe in nothing; everything is sacred. 

I want to grow up... I want to shed my layers of falseness and love fully... I take that seriously. Hence, I don't take MYSELF seriously.  My SELF is the least thing to EVER take seriously. What I take seriously is opening, loving, laughing, serving, doing.

Is this useful information to you? I discovered this in my life, just by living it. Taking things seriously is important... but taking the fear based little grubby ego too seriously is disgusting.

And it's useful to me because when I'm in that state... I can't see that I'm being too serious. I think I'm being serious in the right way, the way that gets things done. Oorah!

This navigation point between serious and too serious is not easy to find. There are no quick ways to achieve this balance. You have to get to a point of depth, openness, reflection, with proper feedback from your environment.  

There is a skill here... part science... part art.... 

The one thing I can offer you right now, in this moment, is that this balanced energy comes from the lower gut, that's where you will feel it in your body... (not the solar plexus, below that) and there will be a wry grin on your lips, barely there, when you feel it. 

As always, I would love to hear from people who are on the path to seriously... not taking themselves too seriously....

 

 

Institutionalized

A friend of mine sent me this video link today.  It's a perfect example of the Primal energies in the world right now, particularly for Men. It shows the effects of the grind of culture and how we typically deal with it (even if the song's demonstrations are extreme, each of us can relate in some way to the man's various frustrations).  It's called Institutionalized, by  the band Body Count.

 WARNING: It has extreme profanity with hard rock music. 

Eye Gazing

The core of all suffering is living a false life.

The basic teaching is always the same.  Surrender. Relaxing open as the universe.

The basic practice is always the same. Surrender. Relaxing open as the universe.

What can you do to begin opening?  First thing: Look deeply into someone's eyes.

"Looking deep into a person's eyes... requires a certain relaxation from the usual armor we wear."

-Adi Da (Heart-Master Da Love-Ananda (Da Free John) in his book: The Knee of Listening.


Myth of Freedom

There is a book by ChogyamTrugnpa called The Myth of Freedom.  You don’t need to read it.  The title says it all.

Raising three kids I’ve seen this odd need for ‘freedom’ inside each of them. A path from dependence to independence. I used to think this was something inborn, an evolutionary trait that helped a tribal member survive by going out into the world alone.

But I’ve begun to suspect it is more ‘cultural’ than anything. More and more my discoveries have revealed that one of the greatest effects on human development is the panpsychic sphere of their CULTURE. More than genes, more than parents. Witness some cultures where teenagers do NOT go through the normal ‘rebellious’ stage of development.

So what is this need for freedom? Certain models suggests that the masculine force (Alpha) is defined almost entirely by its seeking for freedom, and it defines this freedom as a sense of nothingness.

As we came from nothing perhaps we have an inborn seeking to return to nothing…

Another thought occurs to me. Perhaps the concept of control, and freedom, the desire to be ‘free’ is an inborn spiritual device. Perhaps deep down all of us have been ‘programmed’ with a series of codes that define a series of authentic doings. We can call this purpose, mission, context, whatever.

This might again, just be a cultural meme… Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants? What if our core definitions of feminine, masculine, purpose, love, mission, opening, were nothing more than cultural memes…?

But what if they aren’t? 

What if when you burn everything else away, you are left with a small piece of something you should do? A script. A role for your actor to play. An authentic co-creative role.

And if this is true it suggests there is certainly more going on here on this little spheroid ball in the void than just random evolution. There may be no meaning to life… but there might be a plan.

And if there IS a plan… then FREEDOM is… what?

Freedom is living your authentic life.

You might not be free to choose what that is…. You might have to just discover it and surrender to it… but perhaps the entire struggle for freedom is the true search for your authentic doing.

And perhaps this explains why so many of our current teenagers struggle so horrifically with a sense of control and a desire for freedom. Their culture is imposing a series of choices and directions for their life that are often 100% at odds with their authentic path.

Or maybe it’s all just a cultural meme…


Turbulence

Until you learn to enjoy the experience of turbulence, you will never achieve the authentic depth you are fully capable of.

If you are serious about growth, healing, progress… you have to lean into your edge, and become comfortable with being uncomfortable.  Whoever told you growth was love and light and peace and joy, lied to you. Any teaching that is not disruptive to your sense of self, that doesn’t make you highly uncomfortable at times, is not doing you a lick of good.

Nothing against enjoying life.

But if you want grow, be ready to undo yourself, and enjoy it.

First and Last Training

The Buddhists have a training called Morality – The First and Last training.  This corresponds to what I call therapy.  Whenever you are trying to work with the pieces (shards) of yourself, making them better, healing them, growing them, you are doing what is called therapy.  This effort to grow is endless.  You can always get better in some area of your life. 

So what is Art? Sexual Yoga?

Stay tuned to find out… 

Finding your Inner Strength

There is a short scene in the new movie Avengers: Age of Ultron, where two characters simultaneously find their inner strength through the tussle of the Masculine and Feminine.  Black Widow (played by Scarlett Johansson) needs Bruce Banner (played by Mark Ruffalo) to turn into the Hulk in order to save the world. But Bruce is afraid of his inner strength. The feminine force (Black Widow) steps up, and pushes Bruch off a ledge. He will either die… or turn into the Hulk as he falls. Will he rise up and become the monster he fears, in order to fulfill his purpose and save the world?

What are you willing to do to find your inner strength and live your deepest truth?